I wakeup alone Looking forward most to my coffee. What next? A brief burst of mindless TV to stave off the loneliness and the haunting feeling of having no one but my dog. Four cups of coffee down I make a simple breakfast of eggs and cheese. Then out to hike for an hour before the snow starts crashing down silently. Back inside to put on clean PJS and make a bloody mary to take the edge off the loneliness. Again me and the dog. I start a book but end up watching a video of Gleason which is not very good. The house has been shown and I have countered a personal offer of 140,000 with 144. If the offer is met I go out west. Alone or with Victor. Victor got two checks from the IRS and is now on disability. Can two nuts make it? I know I can't make it alone and I can't count on Eric to help me. The rude awakening. After late lunch I make a vodka soda and watch Brokeback Mtn again. Maybe I missed something. I took a hike but I'm not losing weight just staying the same. I suppose now I have to live with being fat or blobby as my friend says. I've always been blobby no matter how thin. This summer I will starve myself into skinniness. The house and what to do is weighing on my mind. I'm sick of the snow that is falling endlessly. Tom morrow I get food and more crates to pack clothes. I must go. Alone or not I must go. The future will never happen stuck here in a place I call home but share many bad memories and such a bad climate. Maybe in a warm place I can blossom and Meadowmorphosize?I wish I had help to move but I know Victor will. That's enough for me.
Meadowmorphosis
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