Thursday, May 1, 2008

Conundrum

I'm in a conundrum of sorts. I have a health condition that despises coffee and alcohol. I am addicted to both. I know if I loved myself enough I would stop both but I don't. I am drooling ffom medication as well. Tommorrow I have the wax removed from my ears by my doc. What do I tell him? My miserable truth? I'm an addict. I can't stop. He's never going to want to hear that.
I only have 2 3 shot drinks a night but its enough to cause GERD. The coffee I have to stop in the am. The sedating meds I am on also cause GERD. Anything sedating. My knees blew up this am after I tried increasing my zyprexa. I just rub them and I can taste it. It moves to the sinus.
I'm very depressed lately and today did not even take off my PJS or shower. I used to shower twice a day! How do I go back to where I was? I just don't know. How to retrace my steps after being so ill to having joy. I have a friend who is ill and lost her joy that calls every two days. I don't know what to tell her. GERD can't have chokky, caffeine and booze plus fatty foods and onion. There is more. But these are the things that get me. I will try subbing chamo tea for coffee in the ayem. The booze I don't know if I can stop.
Sunami

1 comment:

Madame7 said...

Seems pretty simple to me, alcohol is a poison and it doesn't belong in your body.

I have a friend who lives not far from you who has been struggling with alcoholism for years. Just when he thought he had it licked, he got suckered back in again--knowing him, his pride got the best of him when he thought he was strong enough to just have a little bit once in a while. He had the great fortune of having his wife's family pay for him to check into a month-long detox and rehab center.

If i were you, (well, if i were you i wouldn't let me do bad things to myself...) i would use that stellar credit and pay for a treatment program. If you can't do it alone, you must ask for help. I'm sorry that i can't relate to addictions such as yours, but i know there is help out there and people who understand.