Has a lot to do with how fuckedup I am now. Please don't think it reflects on you. You are all princes .I am, each time my heart is shattered, taking longer and longer to put back together.This last time is not the worst but a bad one. Something died inside when he left. Me, my joy. I asked for a break he left me cold. I was raised in a split family where I was molested by my dad and verbally taunted by my mom, brother and cousin. I have never had self-esteem. I'm too much of this I'm too little of that.I never thought I'd get fat again. I thought I had banished that demon. Now its back. Perhaps it will go away as I am not eating much. Just know its all really ME not you all. I started out fucked up and it never went away. The drugs started in 99. They keep me almost normal. Sometimes.
Just know I love you all
Love Susan
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