I Thought It Would Be Easier To Ask For...

Asking For Help

Sometimes it is difficult to ask for help. We prefer to solve problems on our own. Most of the time we are able to do so, using the resources we already have: family, friends and community. We all have 'ups and downs.' We all have normal grief at the death of a loved one and normal concerns about our children.

However, occasionally, life piles on too many stresses at once. Circumstances may overwhelm our usual coping skills. A normally 'good kid' may start going bad. You or a loved one may lose a job. You may suffer a prolonged or difficult illness. Stress may weaken your body's defenses, disrupting your sleep, appetite or zest for life. You may not feel comfortable discussing the problem with friends or family.

It is hard to ask help from a stranger. Asking for help may make you feel vulnerable or ashamed. A good mental health therapist should help you feel at ease quickly and remind you that you have every right to pursue all avenues to feeling better. Needing help is not a moral weakness. In fact, all of us have a responsibility to seek help for our own sake and the sake of our loved ones. There are many barriers to seeking help, but the first usually resides in our own reluctance to ask for assistance.

Another barrier is the concern 'what will people think of me?' We worry: 'What if my boss finds out?' 'What will the neighbors think?' It is true that many people are uncomfortable around issues of mental upset or stress. For the most part, our culture expects us to be rugged individualists, solving our own problems and riding off into the sunset in a ruggedly individualistic way. That is a fine approach, if we have the resources to solve the problem.

Of late I have "gritted my teeth and bowed my head" and asked for help. I have found that the people that come through are most often STRANGERS. Humility. Need. A medical probelm requiring assistance. The worst thing of all is "asking" after it has taken you quite some time..and hearing "Dead silence" on the end of the phone. The very worst. I remember asking my ex (Chuck) for help 2 yrs ago when due to RA could not use my hands. He said he liked to weed. I asked....DEAD SILENCE. I have been charging credit cards and paying for help this week so as not to ask for help. I see that this will be what I have to do from now on no matter how much I have helped others in the past...when someone says "Hey I'll Help You" I actually believe them. Hey "Give Me A Call If You Need Help"....I've called but there was always an excuse...after I helped someone w/their hip surgery-took their dog-cleaned their moldy-dusty-rat infested home for free....brought their dog to the hospital. Picked them up at the hospital.....

Where are they now???

Silly me....Gullible Me!

I will "Do It All" myself even if it kills me from now on.

This way I don't have to feel bad.

Sunami Blooping