Do Women Just Want To Be Rescued?

But Sometimes A Woman Just Has To Rescue A Man........

Tant-eric Tantrum

Beware

Beware of those with selfish interests who masquerade as your friend.....

Sunamizen

Oh Dear

Mystery Meat

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plate, so they begged their dad for the clue.

"Well," he said, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screams to her brothers and sisters: "Don't eat it, it's an asshole!!!"

Disturbed

Today the police came and took my roommate away. I guess I'm going to have to eat all the chocolate chip cookies I just baked...burp. I'm joking because in my way I'm upset. The man wouldn't harm a flea. We took a walk today and he was cleaning the bathroom when the coppers came. Apparently he used a bad NY sarcastic joke about robbing the bank to get put in jail to finally have a home so he wouldn't bother me and they believed him. Idiots. Stepfords with no sense of humor. He was distraught but only asking for help in his way. His stuff is all here. It feels weird. I've been bitching about him and now I miss the guy.

He had a stroke back in the 70's and ever since then his brain did not work right. We should all have that excuse. He cried as he hugged me goodbye. He was self-sacrificing because he knew I could not afford to feed him. Maybe I could have tried harder to stretch the food. I took him for job interviews and to the mission and to the food shelves. Because of his stock ownership he could get no help but because he had no money he could not cash in his stocks(stupid canadian fee). Talk about a Catch-22. Frustration does NOT help mental illness. So now he's back at the hospital. Missing me. The little witch. I kept trying to light a fire under his ass. The Power Of Now...bang-zoom-in-da-kisser.....

Will write more soon.......

I Leave Alone

A Touching Letter Received Today....

On 11/27/2007 09:47 pm EST, Donald wrote: suzy, my name is don bourque. i live in colchester. i read your profile and was so touched by it i had to write to you. and now i will tell you why. i had a daughter 21 in collage at n.y.u. in new york city. after the world trade center bombings she became ill. she became very ill and died one year later. but that is not why i am writing you. i need to tell you have what kimberly had. such a love for life that nowone could take away. when she could not be exposed to any jerms ment no visitors. just mom and dad. for a year. she delt with it just like you are. you remind me of her. you deserve a good person in your life and hope you find that. your story is of honestyand the true love of life.i wish i could fill the needs that you have becuase you will be a wounderfull person to be with and share with. i am not sure how severe you illness is. but i make a killer stir fry my kids would never miss it. and other stuff. if you would like to make friends with me that would be great. i live alone on lake champlain and have for 28 years. still love it . how sevear is your tollernce to booze cause i love my beer. i quit smooking 8 weeks ago. now i just drink more.not makeing a pass at you just wonder if you need a friend. take care please do not be offended by this emal...............................take care don.

More About Me:i cant spell or write. i hate trying to discribe myself on air. if you are interested i am honest,good dad,partey animal for my age,live in a great spot with no one to enjoy it with. if you love 68 foot swing,docks, boats fishing, cards, a few beers and a lot of laffing get in touch we will talk. ps.hot the hell do people get there pictures on this site????

This guy is a Virgo and his note was goofy and bittersweet and gave me hope that someday soon someone will love me with my disability on both good days and bad and help me more than I have helped others. I had asked Buddha for a special wish today. I think this is it. I don't mean I will write this man but his letter touched my heart.
Thank you Buddha.
Love Suzy

I Can't Be Anyone's Solution

Selfish as it sounds I cannot. I need this year to grow and recover from near death.
Forgive Me.
Sunami

Stop The Whirled I Wanna Get Off

I always thought that I belonged in another century. It is my astute observation that the world is going way too fast for me. I feel like I have fallen off this "merry-go-round" and can't figure out how to get back on nor do I even know if I want to be. I have become a recluse of sorts. Burned by love, singed by illness, frustrated by doctors..just dog-eared and tired of the whole game. The bored game. Of LIFE. Get it? I meet men who want to date me and I feel nothing...blah-blah-blah they say. They try to touch me and I shrink away like a slug away from salt. Repulsed by mankind. Knowing all they want is to conquer my crevasse. Sorry. How to live in this world? I plan on isolating. Routine. Java-dog-read-hike-gym-food-piano-sleep.

I have yet to meet a human I can live with. My rommate now is the closest but still he drives me crazy at times maybe because I will NOT let him in. He tries in subtle ways non-sexually and it scares me. A man who has not showered at all for a month. For some reason paranoid of water.

We are all crazy. Once you let a friend touch you it changes things. I cannot let anyone touch me.

Maybe I'm still schtuck. My problem but a problem to be respected. This world is foreign. I wish I could speak w/my grandmother. What would love do now?

November 15 2007

Past And Present

Isn't it weird? You can trust certain people but not trust others. It has to do with their track record. It works both ways. People injure each other unknowingly in a rage, a snit or just plain in life. Why can't he BE what I need? Why? Because he is who he is. How can I LOVE him soooo much yet know I can't live with him? Track record. Distrust. His pals...Seth I believe scan my pages for him as his computer died..looking for a FLAW in my exterior..interior....verbiage...there's no flaw...just my intuition. So look all you want..my aim is true....I'm a goddamn good woman swimming in a sea of men.....trying to make sense of it all.
hey Hey CC Hey Seth...I dn ask to be a part of your pain...I JUST love. Oreck....hmmmm..he is a piece of work like myself....you underestimate him....sometimes I do too....he is a mountain of a man....and he "Breaks just like a little gurl"....so if you wanna throw stones at a glass house fire away but those same stones will hit you ten-fold. Oreck I have found has a very soft interior and he is often wounded. I am guilty of some of the wounds. How about yew? Alcoholics deserve love. I am one. Feast your eyes on Oreck on my sofa and then the Buddhaman that guards my door. Eric thinks I hurt him but he hurts himself. When he treats me like a girltwirl and picks me up in his chariot and takes me to dindin and the moovies then maybe I will feel like a dating prospect but right now I only feel like a friend.
Sambol Suzy

Every Passing Minute Is A Way To Turn It All Around Again....

These words taken from the movie Vanilla Sky hit me strongly as I awoke to a bad MCS attack. It looks like I have relied upon the medication to blur the daily attacks but not this one. Ice pack in place I decided to return to my old diet and to slowly taper the unnecessary meds. The more med fillers the more muscle congestion. The more likely a food will push me over. Cultured dairy being the worst. Cheese. Salad dressing. I should know better than to test the murky waters of food others can eat but I cannot.

Cashew Nut

That's Not Love

That's Not Love

It ain't you
No it ain't me
That's not the way
Love's supposed to be

And it's just no good
No it ain't right
For you to be sitting all alone
Crying every night

You're down on your knees
Scared he's gonna leave
But if you really wanna know
You're gonna have to let go

'Cause that's not love
Love don't feel that bad
That's not love
It don't feel that sad

No that's not love
'Cause you don't feel good inside
I don't know what it is
But that's not love

Inside your heart
It's always raining
And you're oh so tired
Tired of your own complaining

This is for real
It ain't no game
You can't measure your love
By the depths of your pain

Had Too Many Lovers And Not Enough Love......Joe Cocker

I’M LISTENING NOW

THERE WERE TIMES,
I WAS SURE
EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE ALRIGHT
THE SUN WOULD SHINE,
THE WORLD WOULD TURN
NO MATTER HOW,
I LIVED MY LIFE

NEVER NEEDED ANYONE'S ADVICE
WELL THAT WAS THEN
TODAY I'M THINKING TWICE
I'M LISTENING NOW
TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT
TRYIN TO FIGURE IT OUT SOMEHOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW

WE ALL GOT OUR OWN PLAN
OUR OWN WAY TO EASE THE PAIN
WE ALL FIND OUR OWN MEDICINE
FROM BLINDING FAITH TO NOVACAIN
TO STOP THE WORLD AND FILTER OUT THE NOISE
BUT SOONER OR LATER YOU'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO THAT VOICE

I'M LISTENING NOW
TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT
TRYIN TO FIGURE IT OUT SOMEHOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

THERE WERE TIMES,
I WAS SURE EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE ALRIGHT
THE SUN WOULD SHINE,
THE WORLD WOULD TURN NO MATTER HOW,
I LIVED MY LIFE
LOVES THE ANSWER
JUST LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAID
COME ON BABY,
TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE INSTEAD

I'M LISTENING NOW
TRYING TO SORT IT OUT
TRYIN TO FIGURE IT OUT SOMEHOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW
I'M LISTENING NOW
TRYIN TO GET IT RIGHT
TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT SOMEHOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW
YES I'M LISTENING NOW

Iz You Iz?

Chained To His Music

A Passing Fancy

I caught a glimpse of YOU!

Phone attached to one ear

Bearded face

The day the train derailed in Middleburg

You must have been picking up the kids

Or something.

You didn't see me I don't think

I was stuffing a mocha chocolate chip muffin in my face

In the heavy traffic of the day

Heading to the coop

Trip derailed not wanting to be caught in the fumage and traffic madness

My heart skipped a beat

When I saw you

Quietly

In the splendor of the sunny fall day

I caught a glimpe of my old young beloved

Crazy maybe to tell you

What my heart said

As you sped away

Mystery man on a voyage

To somewhereville

The day was complete

For I saw what I wanted to see

The leaves on fire

As my heart is when I catch a glimplse of you

Have a lovely fall

I am home renovating

With a temporary roommate platonic no strings

First time in a long timeA man didnt try to touch me

I like it that way

I am chubby with ice cream

The mums are in

The halloween lights are hung

The new DVD/CD is working

Don't do it if it isn't fun he taught me

So I learned something you see

When you loved me

Love Suzette-je

What Would Love Do Now?

LET IT BE

Pathological Liars

How to detect the lies and get out before it’s too late???????????????????

I've known two,....both men and both alcoholic. What I don't get is Don't they know you know?????I mean the lies are so transparent and obvious. Only an idiot would be fooled. They are called Relationship Scam Artists.

“We operate under a truth bias, whereby we generally assume that someone is honest,” says Sally Caldwell, a sociologist at Southwest Texas State University and author of “Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He’s Lying.” “We’re also taught to be polite, so we’re afraid to challenge someone’s words for fear of appearing rude. And we need those tendencies for society to function, or else we’d be a nation of paranoid people. But slow down and take a lot of time before granting your complete trust to a potential partner. Romantic liars try to speed the pace of a relationship so that it becomes intense very quickly.”

“People who con others are generally psychopaths,” says Brent Turvey, forensic scientist and criminal profiler at the Academy of Behavioral Profiling in Sitka, Alaska, and author of the just released second edition of “Criminal Profiling: An Introduction to Behavioral Evidence Analysis.”

Contrary to popular belief, criminality and psychopathy don’t always go hand-in-hand, although they certainly often do. “Basically, psychopaths view other people as sources of gratification and act accordingly without remorse or conscience. At one end of continuum, you have violent criminals — at the milder end, you have functioning,

highly successful narcissists who do well professionally and abide by the law but wreak interpersonal havoc. We live in a culture where self-interest and instant gratification are rewarded, so it’s sometimes difficult to spot the psychopaths among us.”

RED FLAGS
Turvey adds: “Con artists look for people who have low self-esteem and exploit that. They are parasitic and live off of others’ goodwill.”
But there are signs to look out for. “Con artists and other psychopaths spend a lot of time talking about themselves in a self-aggrandizing fashion — bragging about their larger-than-life accomplishments and grand schemes, which are often completely fabricated,” Turvey notes. “Also, watch out for people who constantly need to borrow money — they always have a sob story, or they’ve ‘forgotten their wallets.’
“Another sign is someone who is amused by cruelty. If they laugh at others’ suffering — not a nervous laugh, but genuine laughter at someone’s pain,” that’s a sign that you’ve got a psychopath on your hands, Turvey says.
Despite the grandiose boasting, Caldwell notes, pathological liars tend to know more intimate and personal details about your life than you do about theirs. Before you plunge too deeply into a relationship, think about what you really know about the person. Is there evidence to back up the information? Have you met family and friends who can back up his tale of winning a Purple Heart? Have you seen his diploma from Harvard?
"Scam artists use what I call ‘tending behaviors’ and ‘narrowing tactics’: They often try to isolate you from family and friends — whether yours or his — in order to limit your ability to speak with people who might help you get a reality check on his stories. If they don’t live with you, they’ll call incessantly to keep track of your whereabouts. Unfortunately, many women misinterpret these behaviors as signs of affection. They are flattered that he always says, ‘Oh, let’s just have a quiet night at home — I want you all to myself.’ That’s OK sometimes — but if he never lets you out of sight, that’s a danger sign.”

CUTTING YOUR LOSSES
As for retaining a lawyer who will work with you on either a pro bono basis or at a low fee, go to a legal aid clinic in your community or consult a local law school for resources. If it’s appropriate and you actually have a chance to retrieve your assets from your husband, do so, but, Turvey cautions, if it’s just going to be a waste of time and energy that will keep the creep in your life longer, cut your losses and just get the divorce. “Count your blessings that your losses weren’t even greater,” Turvey says — he’s worked cases where scam artists kill their victims once they’ve gotten what they wanted.
Moving on emotionally may not happen for a while. Your trust has been shattered, and you are going to need a sounding board who can talk about this with you over a period of time and in front of whom you don’t feel embarrassed discussing what you perceive as your gullibility. Support from friends is always helpful, but I would urge you to see a therapist who works on a sliding scale, since you have been so emotionally traumatized by this experience.
If you are a pathological liar or

been involved with a pathological liar, this article is a companion piece to our HealthyPlace.com Radio show on pathological liars aired on July 6, 2002. You can hear the show in our archives

My Fortune Cookie Says: It Is Not The Strong But The Responsive That Survive

I have been told that I am very strong. Responsive....Yes you could say that about me as well. Sometimes, howevere, I am too responsive for my own good such as my impulsivety and large heart that told me to take in a complete stranger out of the psycho ward at the local hospital as he had nowhere to go and had been kind to me in a cold place. Now he is here....with no end in sight. I am going startk raving mad. I had this friend eric that turned out to be a pathological liar and a thief and a disrespectful drunk to say the least. I could go on. Now I have spent all my time trying to FIX Victors life and have spent NO TIME fixing mine and again the gas and money have run out. There is food. Today we got handouts from the local organization who could do nothing else as Victor owns stocks. So what do I do Buddha? Please tell me. I am at a loss. Do I keep this man here until he sells his stocks or gets his stock certificate which he TORE UP in a temper tantrum or gets a lawyer to get him disability. That could take years??????? There is no room at the local shelter. He has no family that will help him. Buddha please tell me what to do. I am going to go out to open mike. I need an outlet. I promise I wont drink or if I do will take a cab. I am as fat as a house from the medication. Mike is coming for thanksgiving. Yay! Another man to drive me crazy. If he comes on to me I will scream. I want my cloud pop back my double scorpio so bad. Buddha send him home. This time it will be different. I have learned many lessons.

Paz

Sunamizen

The Year Of The Earth Rat Is Soon Upon Us

Chinese Zodiac Signs
- Rat
- Ox
- Tiger
- Rabbit
- Dragon
- Snake
- Horse
- Sheep
- Monkey
- Rooster
- Dog
- Pig
Chinese Zodiac Elements
- Wood
- Fire
- Metal
- Earth
- Water

Our experts at OnlineChineseAstrology.com have complied a list of your auspicious/lucky days for November according to Chinese Astrology. These times are converted from the Chinese (Lunar) Calendar to the Western (Solar)Calendar. Here is a list of the auspicious/lucky days and unlucky days for November categorized by activity.

Our experts at OnlineChineseAstrology.com have compiled a list of your auspicious/lucky and inauspicious/unlucky days for November according to Chinese Astrology. These times are converted from the Chinese (Lunar) Calendar to the Western (Solar)Calendar. Here is a list of the auspicious/lucky days and unlucky days for November categorized by activity.The following are auspicious/lucky days to get your haircut or go to the hair salon according to Chinese Astrology: November 1, 2, 13, 15, 18, 22, 23, 25 and 27. Unlucky days to go to the hair salon: November 9 and 19.The following are auspicious/lucky days to sign contracts or agreements according to Chinese Astrology: November 9 and 29.The following are auspicious/lucky days to get engaged according to Chinese Astrology: November 9, 16, 18 and 21.The following are auspicious/lucky days to get married according to Chinese Astrology: November 1, 5, 11, 16, 17, 18, 26, 28, 29 and 30. Unlucky days for Marriages: November 1, 13 and 25.
The following are auspicious/lucky days to meet new friends or network according to Chinese Astrology: November 22, 28 and 30.The following are auspicious/lucky days to seek medical treatment according to Chinese Astrology: November 30.The following days are unlucky and you should avoid during any important activities on these days: November 6, 7 and 19.

As the end of the Western and Chinese Year approaches, we can begin to look back on the events of the past year and begin to look forward to the events of the new year. In Chinese Astrology, we are drawing to the close of a 12 year cycle with the year of the Fire Pig and beginning a new 12 year cycle with the year of the Earth Rat. The Earth Rat year marks a time for new beginnings and fresh starts. What will the year of the Earth Rat have in store for you?
Go to http://www.onlinechineseastrology.com to find out!!!!
I am a Monkey:

The Monkey Personality

The Monkey symbolizes fun and versatility. You are likely to be unpredictable, witty, and charming, engineered to make the rest of us happy. You also have the potential to be competent, if not expert, at many and varied tasks. You also have a serious side and can be a formidable competitor in business or on the athletic field. Underneath your playful exterior is a real competitive streak and loads of self-confidence. You also are good at adapting to change or changing situations.You tend to spend a lot of time in your head, even to the point of thinking too much. You could be quite clever, second only to the crafty Rat. You are naturally curious and develop a broad knowledge of many different subject areas. It helps that you’re perceptive and pick up on things that others miss. And, your cleverness extends to mind and body. And, you’re also a shrewd judge of character. You can be unrealistically romantic and an over confident gambler. That’s understandable in a way given your quick mind allows you to make it through situations that foil others. Still, if you take enough risks, your gambling instincts could be your downfall.

The Monkey In Relationships

Of all the signs the Monkey is most adept at bringing joy into our lives. You thrive in social settings and are not beyond playing little games with the rest of us. It’s so much fun we line up to be done in again. You also are often witty and a good conversationalist, the person we truly want to be around at any party or social function. Although Monkeys create a lot of joy in the world, they are unfortunately not as good at making themselves happy. Your partner may find that it takes a lot of work to do it for you, and that it takes only a little something to ruin it. You thus need a patient partner and one who is willing to work for your happiness. Finally it must be said the Monkey has a reputation for being a flirt and the most promiscuous of the 12 Chinese signs. Can’t let all that charm go to waste! Nevertheless, once you settle down and truly make a lifelong commitment, you are likely to be more faithful than most people are.

Hazy Boundaries

Nice work of art illustrating lack of or hazy boundaries in dysfunctional people. There is a boundary around us in a physical sense but also in a behavioral sense. When a person has good boundaries he respects anothers wishes or property. But when he does not he steps right over the line into selfishness. This is bad bizness. This shows that this person will just take what he wants and could not possibly be a proper role model or partner for anyone. Alcohol seems to intensify this behavior. This selfishness. People with good boundaries set them and if the other does not like it...well that's too bad. We all have our limits. I once asked a man I loved to call before being done with work as he sometimes got finished at 3am. I asked him to call at 10 to say what time he was coming. He did this but I could tell he did not LIKE it. I was setting a personal boundary as I was ill and needed the sleep. It never did work out because I had expectations and boundaries. Ho-hum.

Another day.....

Sweet Dreams Peoples

2-3-4-0-0-0-0

If you want baggage and dysfunction definately subscribe to this site.
If you are a rescuer......go here. Today, after a painful goodbye to a friend I thought I might be able to actually live with but sadly could not...I contacted a family who had lost everything in a fire and was happy that I still had managed to save some things for them. I had given away so much of my stuff to one particular man and his unappreciative spoiled son that I couldn't believe I still managed to find more. They are happy and will come by Monday. This weekend I have an Open House at my home for people buying and have to get my arse in gear to make it pwetty. I have a friend here that will help me. Not say I was gonna. Not sit there smoking butts and getting loaded.
We learn alot when we don't get so drunk and observe another.
I can't seem to even get a buzz anymore. Maybe my body does not want it.
I am sad that my friend will be alone this winter but I am glad I got to see him as a very disrespectful person and that helped me make up my mind about cohabitation.
Next....the new home where noone but a chosen few will know the location.
Night
Suzy Tired

On Spirituality

"Spirituality is an awakening—or is it all the loose ends woven together into a mellow fabric? It’s understanding—or is it all the knowledge one need ever know? It’s freedom—if you consider fear slavery. It’s confidence—or is it the belief that a higher power will see you through any storm or gale? It’s adhering to the dictates of your conscience—or is it a deep, genuine, living concern for the people and the planet? It’s peace of mind in the face of adversity. It’s a keen and sharpened desire for survival."

This Is How I Am Feeling Right Now....

I will TRY not to use profanity but I am really about at the end of my mental anguish breaking braking point. I have taken a man into my home who had none and it has been a few weeks and I want my house back. I am selling and buying a home, getting my dog back, filling out mortgage apps, spending time w/a friend who I have no idea about other than that we are friends...I need some me time quickly as I am feeling a meltdown coming down the pike. I can't get drunk. smile, laugh I feel like I am on a bed of nails....I am being told not to talk i my own home as I spend hours on the computer and phone trying to get this man help. He is a mentally ill person and a good person. I cannot throw him out into the street. Could you? If you could then I don't want to know you. I don't need another persons problems I just got out of the loony bin myself. I am breathing. Deeply. I am contemplating living with someone yet I know I am definitely NOT READY nor maybe will I ever be. I am way too comforted with silence and enjoy time alone. I can't live with someone or their problems will become mine and I will go down again. I am having a Bloody Mary and a glass of wine and I feel nothing. Klonopin does nothing. I am NOT sleeping because of all this. I was not meant for a live in relationship nor was my grandmother.

I feel like Olive Oil when Bluto and Popeye were pulling her apart. I am eating like a PIG because of this. I may explode soon. After Victor is gone I am going on a vacation with myself. My dog and me. Bobby McGee. Where I do not know but the ocean sounds good. Maine or NH or MA. I will keep you updated.

Signing off pissy and crabby and fat

Miss Piggy