Daily advice from my dear martyr grandmother Helen as we endured a nightmare of abuse together teeth clenched, fists held tightly, nails bitten bloody and fear, chaos and anxiety a daily way of life. Boundaries blurred. Trusting few. Hiding in the corner of the dark closet of fear weeping and desperately hopeless. I really try. If I do....I find myself bottling everything up and eventually exploding. Cloud Pop said I had to get rid of the anger...as he had learned to.....he had lost women due to it....channel it...into joyful activities. But I find sometimes you just have to be angry and hopefully convey it to another in a kind way. You are allowed to have and express feelings aren't you? I haven't always permitted myself to have anything.......I save stuff for other people. I tend to erupt under pressure though or frustration. I can bottle it up but it affects my health. There has to be a better way to communicate your unhappiness with someone or their behavior without erupting...
I don't know. I don't know everything. Everybody is going to get their feathers ruffled one day or another.
I can only remember the Four Agreements by Ruiz...Don't Make Assumptions...Do The Best You Can....Don't Take Things Personally....and Be Impeccable With Your Word. The third one is the hardest for me....and envy.
Love and Learning Patience and Restraint Of Impulsiveness...
Sunamizenski
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