The "Everything's OKAY" Mask

Behind The Masks.

The mask of normalcy that we all put on to try and hide our inner torments is the most common one. And it is the one that fools most people to the extent that when something happens, they are just left devastated.
Last year a work friend of mine killed himself. He left a wife and three young kids who, with his workmates, were at a loss to understand why. Mark always appeared to be a happy go lucky guy, ready to crack a joke or share a story and would have been the last person in the world that you would have considered a suicide risk.
His workmates were devastated on his particular shift. They simply could not grasp that any one could feel that things were so bad that the only rational alternative was to leave this life.
I could. At the time I was also in the middle of a low swing and understood that the specific reasons that bothered Mark didn’t matter, it is just the way we feel at times.
But we put on the mask so people think that everything is okay, in fact, we get so good at it that people think that things are better than okay – and often they’re not.
On the other side of the coin when we are feeling really good and we start taking that odd risk or two that we normally wouldn’t – do we also put on a bit of mask until the high takes over and the behaviour becomes self evident?
Is putting on a mask to hide our emotions and turmoil's necessarily a bad thing? No…… Unless it stops us from getting the support and help that we need simply because we hide it so well that no one knows there is a problem. Unless we get so good at hiding the problems we convince ourselves that there isn’t one – then we really do have a problem!!!!
I know that the worst times in my life have been when I have hidden away deep inside myself the raw emotions that plagued me. When I withdrew into my mask and shell and shut my wife and family and friends away to try and stop the hurt. And you know – it didn’t make it feel better because my sense of loneliness and of being different and separate increased.
Take the risk. Crack that mask just a little to let yourself out because, at the same time you let people in, and it is amazing what a difference it can make.

Taken from Graham Greene at http://www.mybipolarmood.net/themasks.htm

I, myself, have a habit of "Telling it like it is"...if someone asks me how I am. I often wonder "What do they want to hear? The truth or that Everything's Okay.."....For years , through many times of unbearable pain and suffering, I hesitated to answer because most people don't want to be "brought down" or don't know what to do if they don't know what to do? They don't see that just a kind embrace or maybe an offer of a home cooked meal or company might be just what is needed. Sure if you are doing "Great!" you are being honest...but if you are "Knot" doing great...should you lie? It has always been a conundrum of sorts for me. So I have decided I will continue to tell it like it is and if a friend is a fair weather friend then so be it! If a friend is an "all the time friend" then they will offer suggestions or be a part of the solution. I am always there for my friends no matter what. I make meals for them if they are weary. I help them with their work when they are sick. I find health solutions for them online and link them with correct therapies. How could I "hear" that someone was not doing well and be so selfish and self-centered to turn away?
I couldn't.....that's not who I am.......
The Sun IS Shining....
Let it shine through your mask as light will shine through the broken places just as strongly if you allow it.....
Love and Peace and Honesty....
Sunami-NoMask-Zen