Now to stick it back on my face....What kind of glue shall I use?
Gorilla Glue? Elmers? oops...No Whey-Elmers has moo in it....
This morning I will use Brahms and Michael Brecker Jazz Sax...
Massage and Ice Packs....
Public Radio and Organic Breakfast Blend....
Listening to friends talk about Breckers death...he really looked well they said.....up until the day he died he was walking and talking in the hospital....and then he just said That Was It....It's Over...It's Gone.
Just like the day Pop said that to me about us in December after I spent Xmas with another man...because he didn't ask me to spend Xmas with him because he never celebrated holidays....or birthdays...I liked to celebrate those days....I didn't know how to NOT make those days special and fun?
Peace and Solitude Nourishes my brain right now.....
Fills me back up when James Tayler sings I Don't Want To Be Lonely Tonight...Mike Brecker on sax....Herbie Hancock.....Pat Metheny...
But I'm knot lonely, I'm just resting...the Suzy Meadow-morphosis Is ocurring as I learn to Let Go gracefully without claws...without beating myself up for what I could do nothing about or control....for not getting everything done I need to...because my body can't keep up with my brain...right now.
Learning how to not let memories paralyze me with pain and sadness.....
Memories dance in our heads....taunting us.....reminding us....could we have done better?
Shudda...Cudda...Wuddas....
Dancing As Fast As I Can....
Rainy Day Girl Coming Back From The Dead
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