Several Variations On The Scorpio Moon On May Second

The first interpretation is, of course my favorite. I'm not quite sure how I did that!

I've always been a fan of the absurd. As I sit listening to a violin duo rendition of Amazing Grace done quite beautifully, I might add, I wonder what this moon will mean in the scheme of things.

Scorpio is an intense and driven passionate planet. Will it assist us in living our dream? I truly hope so.

As an admitted Train Wreck struggling to get Back On Track...I find each day a challenge in many ways. Living with a disability...financial worries....losing my looks.....pushing men away as I know I cannot handle a relationship right now....Being repulsed when men I ask for help come on to me....Being frustrated......isolating out of choice. Having hurt and anger weighing heavy on my heart. Anger at this illness for robbing me of joy and a love. Hurt that "that love" would discard me because of it. Tremendously. Yet accepting that that was his choice. No matter how hurtful it was to me. I still carry it in my heart like a stone. As I spring cleaned the home I opened my bedroom drawer and saw a tiny pix of him I had stashed away. Waterfall. He didn't think I loved him..he said later on..he said I just respected and admired him....stupid man. I said goodbye because I knew he could not handle "what I have" and it would only tear us apart anyway if I was unable to find a cure. I find myself "blowing up" at family and friends in the last two months out of pain and frustration and a certain amount of jealousy that they have normal lives, can eat normal food and are doing all the things to their homes that I need to do to mine yet can't. Things that would make my home "healthier" for me so i could get well faster. I have never had a bathtub. I just got water in the bathroom after a month. I don't need decks or frills...I just need the "MOLD" to get gone. New roof...bathroom work. Electrical I can't do. Pulling up the floor and replacing it I can't do. Painting I can't do as I am chemically sensitive. I have NEVER been one to say "I Can't" but now MY DISABILTY dictates my answers. I hate that!

So I am just babbling into blogospace so I don't unravel yet again as we test another medication....allegra. If I make it it might help w/my dust and mold allergies. If I "BLOOP" in the morning I will just get through it.

Here's sending special love to my dear friend Eric in Massachusetts.

He'd yell at me for "rehashing"......thank Gawd he's away!

Love and Peace and Classical.

Sunami-sneeze-zen