Being

You are cut off from Being as long as your mind takes up all your attention. When this happens-and it happens continuously with most people--you are not in your body. You cannot stop thinking. Compulsive thinking has become a collective disease. Your whole sense of who you are is then derived from mind activity. Your identity, no longer rooted in Being, becomes a vulnerable and ever-needy mental construct. This creates fear. The one thing that truly matters is then missing from your life: awareness of your deeper self-your invisible and indestructible reality......Tolle

Recently I was forced to cut off communication from a "friend" who felt the need to judge and criticize every move I made. Pity he could not see his faults. After receiving the email below I reacted angrily and defended myself yet I became unshakeable and did not let it rock my boat.

It is a pity that someone so Spiritual could hurl vulgar insults like the ones below......

I keep looking for depth but it just isnt there.
You hate men since your father..... Clean your conscience, it stink baby! What an absolute cunt!
shallow shallow shallow shallow shallow shallow shallow shallow shallow, that's why I am pissed at you. I keep looking for depth but it just isnt there. You are a manupulator and screw people over to get your way and disguise it to look like YOU made a big sacrifice for them. Ii should have listened to Tom so very long ago. You are trouble! My god, poor Victor and poor Mike and the rest of the fools that ever cling into your web.... You dont even realize that this all has to do with the fct that you hate men since your father..... Clean your conscience, it stink baby! Or actually, maybe it's that no man will ever compare to daddy.... they wont fuck you like he did. What an absolute cunt! I have spam filters stupid.... unlike you, i pay for my email for just such reasons! Skank on baby! Wonder who your next victim will be. Oh, I called Cloud Papa.... i wish there was another way of doing it, but, whatever it takes.... he knows you are crazy too, whatta ya know... I'm not the only one.

I was tested by this and although it upset me I did not let it shake me like I would have in the past. This man is a very sick one inside. He is crass and vulgar inside yet projects this image of being such a kind, compassionate being. I have not spoken to him since. I was raped by my father but it never made me hate men. All these insults were in a drunken borderline rage.
I refuse to FEED this man's narcissism any longer. I have mailed him his porn videos he left here in my truck and sent him a nice shirt for his birthday. The anger inside this man is overwhelming. I want no part of it. I was there when he was going to kill himself as his kidney stones were so painful he wanted to die. I was there always when he needed help. The breakup of our friendship is painful but his version of me is way off. I have a lot of depth. I just don't spend my time expouding on it all over my blog. I talk about what IS. What is happening in my life. He has started a new blog so that I cannot read his anymore. That is just as well. He was being attacked by his daughter and her mom daily. You can run but you can't hide from child support. That is what he is doing. Since he got his disability award he changed his phone number and blog so noone could take any of his precious money. Eventually the karma will get him.
Making babies is the EZ part. Teaching them to respect you and supporting them is the hard part.

Today is a new day. A walk in the woods. A workout at the gym. Reading. Dinner with my roommate. Simple stuff. No drama. Friday we go again to the bookstore to see John Bryant play piano. Sip cappucinos. I am sober and liking it. I like me better. It's a little more boring and less crazy but it's safer driving....lol.

Peace
Sunami