Endings As Beginnings

Endings can make us really sad but in actuality endings make way for new beginnings.
New friends. I hate to see a friend move out of my life but sometimes this happens. Sometimes it is temporary to give us both "breathing room" and "growing room". Sometimes it is permanent.
Sometimes friends disagree. It is okay to disagree. Most people have their own system of beliefs.
I believe I have a new friends entering my life in a few weeks. It is a new (old) friend. Every time I saw him I had another man in my brain. I couldnt go with the flow because of it. Yet he remains a good friend even though I rejected his advances. Our friendship is the forever kind.
Maybe that's enough to build on. Sounds pretty solid. I trust and respect him. He's in the musicc biz but not a performer. He's the guy that does the lights, the sound. The roadie guy. He takes the tix at the door. People beg him for favors(free entry). They never stop. They are using him.
He sees this and is upset by it. Yet he is not so good at saying no. He is a people pleaser. A genuine loving person with a giant heart. He takes care of his mom and dad. Works two jobs. I asked him if he ever thought of just leaving it all. He said he had and it was a bad move but he also said he does not belong on the east coast. I feel the same. The west beckons. The sun.

The warmth of the sun on my body lifts away everything bad and increases the seratonin. It charges you up. The dreary days in the east depress you. Chicago is just as bad.

The snow is falling and my new weekender roomate is on her way. Income I need. $80 for the weekend. I need to pay off the ambulances that took me to the hospital when I was ill. This will pay off one. Today is mine to do with however I want. Read Snowshoe. Play the piano. The gym is toxic w/fresh oil based painting going on. I couldn't breathe there yesterday so I left. I believe a fit body helps the mind. A sick body makes a sick mind. Dis-ease is the absence of health.

(Not at ease). I feel lonely lately. Cabin fever they call it. I'm not a part of the ski culture. I could take the dogs to the golf course and snowshoe them. Dog #2 is on the way. Or I could try the road next to my home to be closer. There are no people back there. At any rate it's time to read the power of now.

Sunami-zen