Changing Beliefs

"Slowly and painfully, I became aware of myself. I began to see it wasn’t true that I didn’t believe in anything. Rather, I had believed in the wrong things.… 'There is good in all of us. Seek it out, nurture it, tend it, and it will flourish.' So I began searching for the positives within me."

I was told over and over as a child that I was no good, that I couldnt cry and that my dad said I would be trouble. That I was a whore and a slut. My mother spoke these things. If I paid attention to my body or looks I was a whore. I became very rebellious and started drugging and drinking with my friends. I moved out. I was on my own with a divorced woman and her two small kids Mary and John. We partied. She met my friend Paul who was 20yrs younger and they fell in love. It was one party after another. That's how I learned how to party. I never stopped except for periods of time where I got really health conscious and quit. Years one time six. Months sometimes 8. I have to say the times I quit were the times I looked and felt the best. Winter is a hard time to be alone.
It's hard not to make that nitely cocktail your friend. It is very hard.

Just Thoughts...and ramblings.....
Off To Snowshoe In The Storm....
Suzette-je