A friend recently posted that spending time with a certain person had been a waste of time. I strongly disagree and look at these "failed relationships" as lessons. The things I learn from each person are invaluable and may not be fully appreciated until sometime later on. Time is an illusion therefore we cannot waste it. I have learned a lot about people that lie in the past few years and how they do it over and over with no conception that the other person is "on to them."
I have learned a lot about myself and how I have expectations and am often disappointed by people. I don't like to be out of control anymore and I have cut way down on my drinking to maybe a glass a night. My family does not drink much so being around sober people helps. Why do we drink? Perhaps to calm unease, frustration, anger, out-of-habit, oral fixation, addiction.
Since I quit vodka my tummy is better and my eye bags are gone. The poison is in the elixir I have heard. I still enjoy my java. I watched a cute Disney movie last night called Ratitouille. It was about a rat chef and it was done well. We had white pizza pie with broccoli and ice cream.
Today is the day to prepare appetizers for the guests. I shall do this. Guacamole, artichoke pie, chicken wings and a veggie platter. Some dip. It will be hard to stay awake til midnight as I am not quite the night owl I used to be. My brother and I are starting our diets tommorrow sort of as a race to see who can do it. It just seemed like my departure on 1/1 and a new year was a good start date. I know how to do the diet better and have more time to prepare the food. I also go to the gym and he does not. There is an atkins website though that he can read. The snow has fallen again and luckily my boot is being fixed-I cut the suede shoveling my mom's walkway.
Here's to 2008.....hopefully a year full of good health and love and especially peace.
A year to get fit again and pay off debt......
Sunami-zen
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It's all part of the journey. It appears that you've gained a lot of clarity during your visit there, despite some of the more frustrating parts of it.
I agree with you, that nothing is a waste of time--that is, if you are doing what you are meant to be doing. That requires listening to your higher guidance. My higher guidance led me to fall in love and make children with a very immature, fearful boy-man. We had so much trouble during our relationship that it caused me to become ill and even less tolerant of his bullshit, and he was intolerant of my physical and mental illness and only used it to mock me. Most of the time we spent together was awful and sometimes i wish i could erase it out of the picture so i can look back and see a happy relationship. But instead i have to look at where we are now, which is in a healthy friendship and co-parenting (and ahem...occasional "other fun stuff"), and everything had to happen exactly the way it did to get us to where we are now.
I am sad to hear that my parents are still so unaware of their attitudes and behaviors, that they believe it's OK to be mean to your spouse and other family members, that they don't seem to want to change much as far as consciousness goes. At least my dad is going to make some physical-level changes, i only wish that Jackie weren't so stubbornly attached to her ways and maybe she could be healthier too. I hope he really does go through with the yoga, it has helped me immensely on many levels.
I really think you should plan on moving out west to a warm, dry place. Of course, the southwest is still pretty cold in the winter unless you go to Texas (which i don't advise...) Sedona seems about right though, since you are now having all these spiritual epiphanies and you appreciate being around sober, thoughtful people. I believe that you would thrive in a community like that, and from what i've heard, Sedona is one of the most healing, magickal places in this country. And i would love to come and visit you there, i've been wanting to come down there for years and never have a place to stay so i give up.
Well have a safe journey back home, and do check out that retreat place i told you about. Much love to you!
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