It all seems so trivial, mundane and superficial. Tolle says that power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within. Anyone identifying with their mind will have fear as their constant companion, which means most people. Fear of the future being anxiety or dread. In the egos search for wholeness we often search for completion in a mate, things....ego-gratification. This is unconscious. The conscious emotional pain is one I feel often and that would be the feeling of not being worthy or good enough. I once wrote a song called Enough is enough.
In the first case you cannot feel fulfilled or at peace except for brief intervals when you got what you wanted. In the end it is all relinquished so finding identity in "things" is not gonna get you anywhere. This past summer I gave many things away. I had nothing without my health and I knew it. I occupied my time with sorting and giving away to the less fortunate. This lightened my load. True I still want things but I am patient for them to come to me. Drums for instance.
A love to call my own. Inner peas. Being present in the now is better than the idea that religious fanatics have that believe in a future heaven because this belief creates a present hell. They are always craving what they don't have until they die. Time is also a dangerous thing as time is just an illusion. You only have Right Now. The sense of wonder is attained only in the now. There are few people I enjoy spending time with or talking with. Those people that I do enjoy stimulate my mind to grow. The mind itself is not dangerous it is the actions taken as a result of a mixed up mind. Mind your own mind a friend had created as a bumper sticker. Keep your mind within its boundaries. Tame it to behave. Dwell in the present not the past or the future. I often find myself daydreaming about the future. Exploring new places to live with more sun and better weather. It leaves me depressed and dissatisfied with my present. It's OK to just Do It..move..relocate. Just know you will have the same problems unless you make other changes.
Are you always trying to get somewhere other than where you are? Is most of your doing a means to an end? Are you waiting for something like things or a special person to give meaning to your life? It's knot gonna happen. You must be happy alone. Happy without stuff.
Of course I find myself yearning for a relationship that "works" as we all do. But I would rather live alone than be in a bad relationship. I'm stuck a bit after failing and gaining weight. Watching others relate. Watching people married for years bicker yet remain ensconced. Is it out of fear?Love? Duty? Obligation? I do not know nor will I ever. Will I ever take the chance and try to love again? I don't know that either. I need to be cozy in my own skin. Happy with my own life. Right now I crave a warm desert climate. I always have but fear has kept me in Vermont. Fear of the unknown. I want a copilot to go with me. A team is always nicer than alone.
Mayhaps it will happen but until then I will rent my home to strangers to get out of debt.
Thank you Eckhart Tolle for being a teacher. When I find my mind wandering and talking incessantly I thank you for making me aware of it.
Much Love and peace....
Sunami-whitepizza-zen
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1 comment:
So good to see that you are benefitting from The Power Of Now! That book is a life changer. Good to try to remain anchored in the now at all times, even when distracted, that sens of peace is like an undercurrent that ever flows! Good for you. Good post.
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