Confessions of a Benzo Hooked PTSD person On My Support Group

Scrappy Dad said:
i guess i over react, i am going through alot.. i just got promoted and start monday. i dont know if i can do the job, but i am going to try.. my anger issue is because of my p.t.s.d. i think the withdrawals make it alot worse.. i have been diagnosed a few times with that, just refuse to believe it. i just get all crazy when my kid is brought up. i was going to get an abortion, then i had a week window when i decided to keep it. it was like god wanted this to happen. it gets to be too much sometimes with the flashbacks and mood swings. but i talk to my grandfather who has been a christian counseller for most of his life. he really helps me . sometimes this stuff all together gets the best of me.. i think anxiety is genetic in my family. both my grandfater and dad had the same problem from 19-early 20's. i somtimes feel like i am at war with myself and my surroundings, and i am determined to win. forgive me for the guilt trip i tried to put on you all. i just freak out somtimes.
He had freaked out and overreacted but all is well again...

Moderator said:
You are a young guy with a lot on your plate, now add withdrawal to that it could make anyone over react. Labels like PTSD are limiting terms.
And PTSD is NOT something that says one is crazy or 'mental'. It is a reaction to something that has hurt us deeply and caused us to feel anger, fear, and/or depression - ALL normal reactions that can be long-term, which is when the PTSD diagnosis comes in.
The drugs you were on never uncovered the deep reasons you feel anger, rage or sadness, just numbed them out. Maybe slowly with your grandfather's help you can open up and talk about those things that make you angry. If they are too personal to discuss with family maybe a therapist or social worker could help. Avoid psychiatrists since they may label you again and want to give you drugs. Anger and frustration in my opinion should not be drugged away but uncovered and put to rest so you can begin to move on. In the mean time focus on benzo healing and being easy on your self.
It is going to be hard to get thru the next few weeks, but I think you will make out fine. A few things to remember:
Rage and anger, the short fuse as it were, is a common benzo w/d symptom. I had it myself and only when I committed to going into the bathroom when I felt it coming on did it finally start to dissipate. It can be very hard to control, but CAN be done if we make up our mind to do so. It is like telling ourself that this is not allowed and I will not tolerate it. It does go away with practice. Once the wedding is over, and the baby is home and settled, think about some more Christian counseling - not just for you, but for your new spouse who will need to learn the same patience you will be learning thru this.
Do not allow negative thoughts - "I have a genetic inclination to anxiety." If I saw a young adult in their 18-24 age range who was NOT anxious I would be surprised. This is the search for identity and one's place in the world time and it can be stressful, just like that new job, marriage, and baby you are dealing with. You may like to read 2 Tim 1:7. That counselor in your family that you mention probably already told you about that verse. These are just some of my thoughts and you may throw them in the trash if you like. I won't be hurt. Just hoping something here might be helpful. Do keep in mind one thing, though. Benzo w/d does go away in time. Usually, what we are left with is so minor in comparison as to be no problem. But if things are left, then take care of them. Don't let them hold you back from being the wonderful parent and spouse and person that you want to be.
They Walk Among Us!
Suz Shui