Not everyone has to STOP suddenly what they were always doing and figure out how to get well naturally. It takes a certain amount of WILL. Determination which I never have lacked and of course positivity. If I seem like I am isolating, I am. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I am in SURVIVAL MODE. I must turn my anger into something positive. I must carry my burden alone until I can come to a stable phase. Some call it selfish or self-absorbed..I call it trying to find a way to live. Safely and with less discomfort. I am TIRED of explaining my illness and exhausted of talking about it...I just want my life back but it has me by the balls.
Most people just take pills and don't stop the behaviors that cause them to become ill. I was one. I took a med for sleep/anxiety. Now I can't. I drank sometimes. Now I can't.
I must rebuild and detox my body day by day.
Not for the squeamish. I want my friends around me badly but right now i am too unstable. I must learn to sleep w/out pills and get through withdrawal.
Needy is my middle name....but strong nevertheless.
Let anger be my guide out of this well.
I've wasted too much time on astrology...
Dirt Buster
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