In Between Lust and Rage Lies.....

Love...Peace...Intimacy

There is a balance in any relationship of the physical and the friendship bond....

Just like there is a balance in one's own individual life there needs to be a balance in love...

I have had relationships that were 90% LUST and that IN LOVE BUTTERFLY feeling and what I interpreted as LOVE on the man's part...I think he really thought it was LOVE....but I think he was unable to relate to women on any other plane because when I tried to get answers I got coldness and an unemotional response....

I guess this is learned behavior but for a sensitive soul like me it felt like trying to communicate with an obstinate "Wall Of Ice."

I have had relationships that were purely friendships and partnerships with no SPARK...I got bored.....I need SPARK....I need to "relate" in some way spiritually with SPARK present...

I've had marriages with no intimacy or sex....my ex-husband only liked one position...me doing all the work....he hated oral sex.....I got bored. I'm a VERY affectionate sexual critter.....I like Dimensions in my sex life.....reaching that "Other Dimension of intimacy".....

Trust seems to be lacking between men and women because of past hurts.

Can I really fall back and he will catch me???? Will he be there when I need him?

Anger and rage simmer just below the surface because of past relationships and our own relationships with our parents....love-hate.

Love of self seems to be the first step to any kind of love with another human bean....

Acceptance of self....with all it's flaws.....imperfections.

For only when you "make a life" and stand on your own and stop living vicariously through other peoples lives and dramas can you share that precious life with another....

Right now one of my dear friends is going on a journey of self-discovery and mastery of inner peas....I wish him everything great and know he will embrace his journey with fervor and passion....

I have to do it "right here and right now".....in my little corner of VT.....

I am hesitant to invite another into my life until I have mastered the self-love aspect and stop the self-criticism.....keep my addictions at bay and get my life back on track doing the things I love........keep out of the problems of others.......go see free music outdoors......relax!

Find MY Balance instead of taking care of others needs....

Here's to MY self-discovery...

Blah-Blah-Blah-Zen